When I was a manager and an issue arose among co-workers or an employee and another manager with whom I worked, I would ask the parties to sit down together, one side talking first, the other listening and mirroring back and then switching until all was out in the open. I would ask questions to bring out the issue and make sure each side was really hearing what was being said. I can’t think of an instance where using the technique did not result in defusing the issue and both parties going away feeling they’d had their 15 minutes and were acknowledged and heard. Anger might have remained for a bit after but eventually dissolved as both sides could see how they contributed to the problem.

We all take into the workplace so many issues that have nothing to do with the work we have to get done or how we perform it. We all need to feel what we do counts, and recognition and acknowledgment from higher up go a long way to help us feel that way.

There are no “wrong” feelings. That said, it is important that a person learn to separate what is said about work and performance from his or her own sense of personhood. A good manager would be remiss in not pointing out errors and helping find a way for performance to improve. That manager is not saying the employee is a bad person, nor is that manager out to “hurt” the employee (though I’m sure we all have stories of managers to the contrary), any more than a parent correcting a child is saying the child is bad and therefore undeserving of the parent’s love. Work still needs to get done. An employee who takes everything said about his or her work as a criticism of his or her person ends up a very angry and sad employee.

We have all have had “bad” experiences in the workplace. To continue to function optimally in a place we give 8-10 hours of our time each day, or do what’s needed to get that next job, we’ve all also had to find a means to deal with those bad experiences. Sometimes that requires getting help from an EAP or outside counselor, talking to a reemployment specialist, or finding someone to mentor us through the next job search.
Anger and hurt are valid. Acknowledge them. Deal with them. Move on. Just don’t allow those corrosive feelings to get in your way of showing what you CAN do when you know you are doing your very best in the job that’s right for you.

There is a lot of literature on the topic of angry employees and angry managers. It might be helpful to read the pointers for dealing with the feelings.

I too believe your angry and hurt feelings are valid, as well as your fear about never being able to work again. I am praying for you. Pray for me too, I am having trouble getting back into the workforce after bad experiences too. It indeed is scary, but I feel like it can be done with God’s help, leading and kind encouraging people- of which I have very few right now. So, pray for me too.

Al

A person who screams at employees is not in the right job either.

I agree that this employee best serves herself by acknowledging her own role in her dismissal (there is never just one side on which can be heaped all the blame), seek help if necessary to deal with the anger, and move on. Continuing to carry that anger – and it will come out in an interview – will not be helpful in locating a new job.

i know when anyone is already down, it is hard to see any good in life. it is a time when all the things that are wrong in the world tend to come into focus.

i pray that people come into your life that speak words of life and love in a positive way. and that you keep your heart open even though it can be painful.

i know that it can be hard to give what children need at this time, but, i hope that you will recieve patience and love enough to give to them while you go through this difficult time.

you are loved, and you are worth more than you know.