Thanks for the Lovely Gift Basket
Some new neighbors moved into the house across the street from us a few months ago.
Being the self-centered and aloof person that I am, I usually don’t give much thought when it comes to these things. But for some odd reason I got it in my head that I was going to turn over a new leaf and show generosity and a welcoming spirit to these new folks.
I imagined myself ringing their doorbell, surrounded by my wholesome family weighed down with gift baskets and steaming casseroles, as the new neighbors, sweating profusely and surrounded by unemptied boxes, open the door, and are immediately overwhelmed with our kindness. They invite us in and unravel their grief and loneliness as we solidify our caring friendship by inviting them to a newly formed small group bible study that happens to start meeting at our house next Tuesday.
“That Moore family was such a Godsend!” they would say as they watch us walking back to our house arm in arm singing Amazing Grace.
Anyway, I made a big deal about it with my wife and 16-year old daughter, sternly admonishing our family for not being more Christ-like in the past. “We are going to make a gift basket and bring it over next Sunday.” I announced. They both shrugged their shoulders and said, “Sure.” Read more…
You Are Capable of Far More Than You Think
I remember the first time I spoke in front of a large audience. The arrangements had been made months in advance, at which time it sounded enticing, even glamorous.
Truthfully, I was far more interested in the idea of me as a speaker, rather than concerning myself with the pesky details of the event itself. Besides, how hard could it be, to talk about something you know in front of a group of strangers?
But walking in to the cavernous auditorium that morning, it suddenly dawned on me: I have not quite thought this through. My dry mouth hung open as I gazed around the theatre, ultimately fixing my eyes on the enormous stage looming up front.
“Are you sure this is the right room?” I nervously checked in with my host. He just smiled and gave me a thumbs-up, while hundreds of people filed in to fill up the seats. The delicate little butterflies in my stomach now turned into violent, wrenching badgers, desperately trying to claw their way out.
I managed to complete the twenty-minute presentation without losing control of any major bodily functions, and made my exit to lackluster applause. I then proceeded directly to my hotel room, whereupon I curled up into a fetal position for the next two hours.
They say that, for most people, the fear of public speaking is worse than the fear of death, and I can see why. My talk was a disaster, and I wanted nothing more than to just hide out for a few months until the laughter died down.
But, of course, I didn’t do that. I eventually got up, splashed some cold water on my face, and headed down to re-join the conference proceedings.
Someone told me once that fear goes hand in hand with faith and fulfillment.
To continue reading this riveting story, click here to head over to The High Calling.
Four Reasons Why People Overextend Themselves
Last week I was asked to join yet another committee. I told the inquiring gentleman that I would think about it for a couple of days, after which I politely declined.
“I am very cautious about becoming over-committed,” I explained, but he still seemed somewhat disappointed.
It’s happened to me before - over-doing it with outside activities – and it’s not pretty: the running around every night of the week; the burnout; being spread so thin that I’m not much good to anyone, for anything.
So I don’t care any more if I let someone down once in a while. They’ll get over it.
In fact, this has become a common occurrence lately, me saying no, and I’m getting quite used to it. With a demanding job and full family schedule already on the plate, there are only a select few extracurricular activities worthy of carving out slices of time. I serve on a couple of Boards, I do part-time editorial work at The High Calling, I love blogging (of course – but that, too, has its limits), and I participate in a couple of church programs.
That is quite a lot.
It amazes me, though, the people I observe who don’t seem to be familiar with that word, “No,” who take on every committee and board and non-profit venture that the community has to offer. I see them, these take-charge sort of folks, with their sticky hands in just about everything, juggling meetings and minutes and fundraiser extravaganzas right alongside their work and home lives.
It looks quite impressive, but I honestly don’t know how they do it. Read more…
Why You Should Get a Prayer Partner
I have had a prayer partner for the past year and a half. His name is Mike, and he also happens to be a blogger, at The Daily Saint. As far as I’m concerned, this is worth a few extra points, in addition to the prayer.
I met Mike at an event put on by A New Equilibrium last year at the Princeton Seminary on the topic of integrating Spirituality and Leadership. At one point in the seminar, our instructor made everyone stand up and find a random partner, someone we hadn’t met yet, to do some kind of exercise. Mike was standing there across the aisle, so we approached each other and shook hands to introduce ourselves. Then, without any warning, our instructor said, “Now, say hello to your new prayer partner!”
Just like that, our prayer partner fate was sealed.
Just so you know, these things don’t always work out. Many of those paired prayer partners fizzled into oblivion due to lack of chemistry, or their resentment of being forced into a prayer partnership, or maybe they just didn’t like the idea of saying a prayer out loud, over the phone, directed towards someone they didn’t know all that well.
Prayer can seem weird. Read more…
Five Tips for Dealing with Conflict at Work
There you are in the conference room, discussing an important issue with your team. Eventually you make a recommendation, one which everyone knows that you are extremely well-qualified to offer.
Just when you expect the applause to break out, you instead begin to sense a palpable whoosh of negative energy blowing in from one corner of the room.
“Forget it,” says one unenthusiastic team member. “Bad idea. It won’t work.”
But you, being the hard-charging and persistent manager that you are, won’t take this without a fight.
“Oh yes it will work,” you retort. “It will work very well because of x y and z. I’ve done my homework and I know what I’m talking about.”
Your adversary, however, is also a very competent and tenacious manager who has shown you again and again that he is intent on making his opinion known, and will see it through to the death.
“Well, have you thought of A, B and C? Last year we were stuck with six weeks of inventory because of some other clown’s similar lame-ass idea.”
You bristle at the opponent’s liberal use of foul language in mixed professional company, because that is not how you roll.
“You can’t be serious,” you say, “Comparing this proposal to last year’s debacle? It’s an entirely different situation!”
Voices rise, blood vessels bulge, and the innocent onlookers shrink back in awkward embarrassment. A conflict ensues, right there in the middle of the conference room, and everyone around the table knows that at least one, and possibly both parties will come out looking like an ass. Read more…
The Most Powerful Management Trick
I was hunkered down the other day in a windowless conference room with three colleagues, discussing what we enthusiastically refer to at my company as “Talent Management.”
You might think this means we were busy charting Hollywood careers, or perhaps determining how our employees might stack up in an entertainment competition. But no, it’s just the glammed-up version of the function formerly known as Human Resources.
We were considering the promotion of a superstar employee from analyst to department manager.
“You should see this guy whip through a spreadsheet model,” said one.
“He’s the smartest analyst on the team,” declared another.
“Plus he plays a mean blues riff on the guitar,” spoke the third.
As the room swelled with praise for this young man’s astute analytical capabilities, I interjected an innocent-enough question: “Sure, he’s got killer technical skills, but how is he with, you know, people?
The room fell silent as they began to ponder the obvious.
It’s the oldest story in the business book: Superstar worker gets promoted to manager. He has no people skills, whatsoever. No one ever explains what the leader’s role is supposed to look like. And, voila! Not only do you lose a star performer, but you gain a bad manager.
There goes the team.
If you want to learn the Greatest Management Trick, click here to keep reading the rest of this post over at The High Calling!
Image by Breno Peck. Used with permission. Sourced via Flickr.
Inappropriate Pompous Christian Business Owner
There is this gentlemen – I’ll call him Ray Smith- who was a prominent business owner in the region. He was well known, not just for his company and the products it sold, but also for their charitable works. Ray had even set up a special non-profit entity for the specific purpose of funneling his company’s profits into missions-oriented and disaster relief projects.
One day I was chatting with an entrepreneurial friend of mine whose business was taking off like a rocket. He asked if I had any ideas on how he might structure a way to channel his corporate profits towards doing good works. I immediately thought of Ray, and suggested we set up a lunch meeting to explore the possibilities.
The next day I dialed over to Ray’s office and spoke with his polite young assistant, Brian.
“Mr. Smith isn’t in at the moment, but I can take a message for you.”
“Can I leave a voice mail?” I asked.
“No, I handle all of Mr. Smith’s affairs, and I’ll take care of it for you.”
I don’t know what the big hoo-ha was with the personal male assistant and all, since none of the other execs around here have trouble picking up the phone and returning a call, but I chalked it up to eccentricity, and told him of my interest in a meeting.
A couple of days later, he called back.
“You’ll be meeting Mr. Smith at Le Espalier for lunch next Thursday,” Brian proclaimed, enunciating every consonant.
It was the fanciest French restaurant within a forty mile radius. Surely we didn’t need all the pomp and rigmarole associated with such as place, but I was excited to introduce my friend to a fellow CEO of such integrity, such a wonderful example of corporate generosity and living out the gospel in the corporate setting. Read more…
Your Work is God’s Work
Last week I attended a large deal-making convention. The place was brimming with investment bankers, private equity wonks, corporate development stiffs, and the like.
In other words, it was a room full of suits.
When we could no longer take the awesome power networking, the crowd neatly descended upon a cavernous ballroom theatre for a power lunch. Our featured keynote speaker was Ben Stein, the oddball economist who has somehow managed to cobble together a thriving career blending economics, political analysis and Hollywood star status.
I mostly associate Ben Stein with the movie, Ferris Beuhler’s Day Off, where he plays the excruciatingly monotone high school teacher standing at the front of the classroom attempting to engage the students: “Anyone? Anyone? Anyone?”
In real life he is a little more colorful. Read more…
Good Leader/Bad Leader
In April 2011, an oil explosion on a BP oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico killed 11 people and caused the greatest oil spill in U.S. history. The CEO at the time, Tony Hayward, uniquely rose to the occasion with what will surely become known as the most self-absorbed leadership quote of all time:
“What the hell did we do to deserve this?”
Mr. Hayward was certainly operating under an extremely stressful situation at the time, immensely more intense and tragic than any of us might ever face in our careers.
But, still.
It is clear that Mr. Hayward was a wee bit preoccupied with himself and the career-branding implications of this tragedy, rather than seeing the bigger picture and stepping up to lead the organization through an epic crisis.
Compare this behavior to Farzad Rastegar, CEO of Maclaren USA, who was faced with a massive baby stroller recall in November of 2009. Those strollers claimed the little fingers of dozens of toddlers due to faulty hinges, and were under fierce public attack. “It was one of the most difficult times of my business life,” Rastegar writes in a Harvard Business Review story, “But good did come of it. I learned a lot about myself, my role as CEO, and what it means to lead a growing, global company.”
Farzad goes on to discuss the influential role his company is now taking with other manufacturers and retailers in setting higher standards for stroller safety in a surprisingly unregulated industry. He faced the crisis head on and found ways to lead an entire industry towards the greater good. Read more…
Permission to Wake Up Your Soul
I spent several days last week completely surrounded by writers, artists, musicians and poets. It was the Writer’s Retreat at Laity Lodge, in Texas, my second year attending.
This is a stark contrast from my routine as a business executive. I am usually immersed in the business of running things, of analysis and decisions. But at Laity Lodge, there was no talk of strategy or finances or how to engage employees. In fact, for three solid days, I don’t think I heard one person say, “Let’s put a pencil to it,” or “Let’s break down the cash flow model,” or “How will that impact Q4 earnings?”
Instead, these generous, creative people were only concerned with beauty and art and The Sacredness of Everything.
The conversations went more like, “Tell me, Brad, how did you start writing?” and, “What kind of creative projects are you working on?” and, “I can’t believe how many stars there are in the sky tonight.”
I love these people.
This was such a far cry from my every day work identity; it actually caught me off guard a bit. I had to tamp down that badgering little voice in my head, screaming, “What are you doing here? Get back in your box, pronto! You are not one of them.”
Why do we deprive ourselves from the things we love? Read more…
