Shrinking the Camel

 Warning: This post is rated PG-13. If you are offended by certain slang words that might be used in those movies, then please, do not read this post.

Is it okay for Christians to Curse?

I have a friend who works in the Christian publishing industry. He was recently telling me how conservative it is, and for emphasis, he added, “We can’t even print the b-word.” I scrolled through a catalogue of words in my head, trying to guess which b-word he might be referring to. There were so many choices. Was it bitch, bastard, balls? Surely any one of those could be the vulgar culprit. Or, perhaps there was some other curse word that I hadn’t been exposed to yet; some urban street-slang that these publishers were on to, one that would soon be infiltrating our suburban high schools, possibly even making its way into the mouths of our church youth. I remained silent, not wanting to guess the wrong word or expose my lack of street cred regarding the youthful slang that the Christian publishers were so down with. God forbid, I certainly didn’t want to show my age. Not hearing a response, my friend volunteered the answer to this trivia question. “The word is ‘breast’.” He said. “Breast. Can you imagine that?”

No, I can’t. What I can imagine, though, is the abrupt and final termination of any misguided notions I had for snagging a book deal within the Christian publishing industry. I pictured myself sitting across the desk from a pastorly editor, who is suddenly infuriated upon reading the word “ass” in my manuscript. Enraged and offended, he pulls me up by the ear and briskly marches me through the building, shoving me out the door, back onto the cold, harsh streets of Grand Rapids.

I never thought of the word ‘breast’ as risqué, really, not when it is used in an appropriate context. I mean, we are all adults here. And I bet most readers are either women or married men, which means that we either have them, or have had them in our sights at one point or another. Why work so hard to pretend that the breast is not a functional part of a Christian’s every day lifestyle? Read the Song of Solomon, for goodness sake.

It’s not that I am a foul-mouthed libertarian. I have always been fairly conservative when it comes to language. The Christian publishers’ attitude reminded me of my own conservative upbringing, and the taboo that was expressly reserved for any utterance remotely resembling a curse word. I never, ever heard swearing in my home, growing up. Even the words that were quoted during King-James bible stories in church and Sunday School, words like “hell” and “ass” (the animal ass, not the body part), were strictly verboten. However, with age, a more robust group of Christian male-friends, and quite possibly hanging around too much with my own teen-age daughters, I have definitely loosened up my tongue a bit. Especially as I started writing, I developed a healthy respect and appreciation for the use of a salty word now and then to round out a story, or to drive home a point for emphasis.

Plus, it’s pretty much how we talk. “We,” meaning the friends from work and church who I spend time with, those with whom I fellowship with and share my life with, even the most spiritually mature brothers and sister in Christ. We feel quite free to use an off-the-record reference now and then. Not every day, not usually in a crowd, and certainly not in every conversation, but occasionally, yes. I know several men, spiritual pillars of their churches, who will occasionally drop the word “shit” into their conversations with me. And hey, to me, it usually sounds just fine. Sometimes that is exactly the right word choice, just what the doctor ordered. “Golly, Brad, I think I just got on my pastor’s shit list,” one gentleman confides. Other times these folks are referring to the actual tactical meaning of the word, especially coming from those who are associated with the agricultural industries – those hard working men and women who till the soil and work with livestock. “I was out in the barn and got shit all over my shoes!” the godly Christian farmer will say to me, and he doesn’t even know that it was once a forbidden word in my Evangelical fundamentalist household growing up. None of these gentle folk are being vulgar, foul-mouthed, or inappropriate. We are just friends, talking to each other about our lives, in our own tongue.

So why can’t it be so in my own writing, where I am also sharing my self and spiritual life with my friends, you the reader? How we talk in real life is not at all like the Christian publishing market portrays. I’ve been a Christian for a long time, but sometimes I can not relate to the sanitized, simplistic, hyped-up and over-spiritualized language that is often passed for inspirational literature. Everyone is trying to out-motivate everyone else. I worry that these authors and publishers are more concerned with spiritually one-upping the reader, rather than getting down to the mat, revealing the messy truth of life, which is where the bulk of my real, normal life is taking place. It just doesn’t sound real.

Of course there’s still plenty of insights and inspiration to be gained from reading and listening to the pastors, motivational speakers, theologians, and writers who are out on the circuit today. And God knows we all can use some wisdom and guidance on our journeys of faith. But lately, for me, I am too often left with an awkward disconnect between their well-meaning spiritual advice and my real-world experiences. It’s as if these experts don’t quite get what my life as a “normal” person is like. I mean normal in the sense that giving spiritual advice is not my primary occupation.

I can understand the reluctance of Christians to print or speak words that may compromise or call their piety into question. Maybe they find it hard to know where to draw the line, and thus prefer to err on the side of caution. None of us want to fall under James’s admonition of being unable to tame the tongue, “uttering both praise and cursing out of the same mouth” (James 3:9-10).

I try to imagine if Jesus ever used a cuss word. Especially the teenage carpenter-apprentice Jesus, after accidentally hitting his finger with a hammer. I doubt it. But what about the disciples?

Take Simon Peter, for instance. Well, no question there. Peter definitely cursed. He was the one with the potty-mouth, the one that the other disciples had to keep apologizing for. “Oops, sorry Jesus, about my brother’s TRASH-MOUTH. He got into this bad habit of cursing when he was working in the Gallilean Fish Workers Union a few years back. But he’s a good guy. PETER CAN YOU PLEASE JUST TONE IT DOWN? Goll-lee! Jimminy Crumpets!” Peter was probably no different from any other fisherman you might be acquainted with – you know, “salt of the earth” and all. He may have toned it down some after becoming a full-fledged apostle, but I can still see him dropping some Aramaic f-bombs when he got worked up – he did have a temper, after all.

What about Paul? Rumor has it that if you look carefully at the original Greek manuscripts, you will find that he used a saucy word in one of the epistles, and not by accident. This scandalous idea was first presented to me over twenty years ago while in college, by a speaker at one of our Inter-Varsity Fellowship meetings. This gentleman was expounding on Philippians 3:8, “I consider everything a loss compared to the greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.” After the speaker preached on the magnitude of Paul’s commitment (“So should ours be,” he said), he went on to tell us that the word “rubbish” is not quite the literal translation. He continued on this tangent and with a wink and a sideways smirk told us, “You folks might find it interesting that the original Greek word Paul uses here is a slang word. It means something a little more explicit than the word ‘garbage.’ It actually refers to human excrement.”

“Whoa! Dude! All right, Paul!” That’s what most of us guys were thinking. But I never heard anything more about that translation again, and avoided saying that particular slang word for human excrement when describing my commitment to Christ, or in any other context, for that matter. Fast forward twenty-five years. A few months ago I stumbled across that same proposition while reading a book called “The New Christians,” by Tony Jones. Tony makes the exact same point in a little sidebar – that the Greek word Paul uses in Philippians 3:8, skubalon, is the equivalent of our vernacular word, “shit.” Most bible translations will use words like “refuse” or “dung” or “garbage.” But the real translation from the Greek is a slang word for human excrement. You know what it is, so I won’t say it again.

Well, there you have it. Paul used a street-word for its shock value, to get his point across. But Paul wasn’t “cursing” just then, was he? He was using a slang word in a certain context to bring a punch to his very strong point. There are certain slang words that are actually appropriate at times, more relevant or at the very least functional. There’s a big difference between using slang and actually cursing. Cursing involves outright vulgarity with an intention of offending and condemning the listener. Which is not what I, nor my good brothers and sisters ever intend when speaking. And, I guess that’s my point. Or my question. Just what exactly qualifies as a curse word anymore?

I serve on a Board with one of the pastors from a mega-church in our area. A couple weeks ago we were about to receive a presentation from someone who wasn’t quite so polished in his use of language. Like Peter, I warned the pastor that the presenter may accidentally drop a couple of off-color words into his presentation, by accident. Words not typically heard in his weekly sermons. This pastor replied: “So what. I think an off-color word can be refreshing once in a while.” This is actually code for “I am so effing tired of being censored by the Evangelical language police.”

Can you imagine that? A pastor who welcomes salty language as “refreshing?” Maybe I can someday imagine a world where Christian-oriented material is published with language that really sounds like me, my friends, my church, like we are having a real conversation about real life. Not that it would be nasty, irreverent or blasphemous, and certainly not cursing others, just talking. That’s quite a stretch, I know. But, dang-it-all, I can dream, can’t I?

I know what you’re thinking: Spiritually Astute Christian combined with What’s Hot in 2009? These do NOT belong together. You might even suggest that it is impossible – heretical, almost – to mix foundational, unchanging spiritual truths with the fickle moodiness of fashion trends. Perhaps it’s crass, even. But I, for one, am not above it.

IN:       Authenticity                     OUT:   Pretence

I am not impressed. No one is any more. Just admit it, you are a vulnerable and insecure mess just like me. In 2009 we want to know you. The real you, warts and all, not the version you think everyone wants you to be. We’re all in this together. It’s time to strip away all the holy veneer, go deep down inside, and find out what’s in there. And then give it away to others.

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IN:       Conspicuous Thriftiness   

OUT:   Conspicuous Spending

Duh. It’s simply not good for the wallet, or the soul. Rather, everyone is getting in the mood to cut back and simplify. Uber futurist and trend-watcher Faith Popcorn  has dubbed it “The Culture of Recession.” Basically her report says that everyone is just going to buy less stuff next year. Thrift is now in fashion. Good.

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IN:       Rick Warren                        

OUT:   Pre-Obama Rick Warren

After 25 billion copies of Purpose Driven Life, I think it’s safe to say that that book has served its purpose.  Can we move on, Rick? To something with a little more…substance? Which is what we have in 2009, now that Obama has invited Rick Warren to the Inner Circle.  I think we can expect a refreshing new take on what the mix of Christianity and politics can look like. 

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IN:  Organic whole wheat artisan-crafted loaves       

OUT:   Matzoh bread

I’m talking communion here, folks. 

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 IN:       Meditation                        OUT:   Prayer

Well, Okay, it’s not like I’m going to stop praying. It’s just that praying can actually make me more anxious, while meditating is so much more…whole. I think it integrates both sides of my brain, while synching up my spiritual psyche with some other tranquil dimension of the universe. Or something like that. Try it, you’ll see.

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IN:       Macaroons                            OUT:    Cupcakes

A food reference for good measure.

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IN:      Gratitude                                 OUT:  Anxiety

You do have a choice, you know. And it’s not necessarily in your medicine cabinet. Check in on that inner voice – the one that’s always telling you what a loser you are and everything’s going down the crapper, and see if you can dial down the destructive chatter. Sometimes it just takes a little conscious recalibration of your perspective towards gratefulness. I’ll bet if you make a little effort, you’ll find plenty of good thoughts to feed to your inner monster. Surprise people by thanking them. Be the one in the conversation to introduce a positive comment. Start a Gratitude Group!

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IN:   Tony Jones’ glasses             OUT:  Katie Couric’s glasses

This is just a pet peeve of mine. I needed something to offset how ridiculous and contrived Katie Couric looks when she dons those Tina-fey glasses. I don’t think it’s making much of a dent with the ratings, either. And Tony Jones? Well, his glasses just confirm his smart-cool-hip-Christian PhD dude-ness. Next will be the teeth.

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IN:  Kingdom of God                   OUT:        Emergent Church

Spekaing of Tony: since Emergent is all the rage right now, it begs to be on the “Out” list.  How about just acting out our faith, every day, everywhere we are,  no matter what kind of church we choose to belong to? It’s like the very act of trying to de-label or un-brand the traditional church creates a new label and a new brand of it’s own, and before long you’re right back where you started. 

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IN:          Now                                           OUT:     What’s Next

The moment is now, and that’s really all that I have – it’ s all God has given me. So I will revel in the joy, the beauty, the chaos and share in the grace and goodness of it all. Whatever and whoever is there right in front of me, I will give my full attention. Which, right now, is me writing on this computer screen, and you reading it.

It’s nice, isn’t it?

I mean, somebody’s got to do it.

I believe that God gives each of us a unique calling to be discovered, an ambition that we must pursue to be whole, to be fully human and fully ourselves. We can not qualify the value of one vocation over another. We each are uniquely distinct and we must embrace and respect the diversity of interests and ambitions of each person, while ensuring they are acting in the bounds of morality, legal and ethical behavior. Ultimately, the output of our ambitions and vocations should be the revelation of God’s love through our work, through our results, to our fellow employees and customers we interact with, and through the resources we give back to the world.

In closing, here is a benediction that you will never hear from your church’s pulpit:

In reading the New Testament more closely for clues about Jesus’ view of ambition, I get the impression that it’s like, the party’s over from the Old Testament days, and we need to get down to spiritual business. Sell everything. Abandon your family. Don’t get married. Gouge out your eyes and cut off your hands and private parts if they make you sin. But, seriously, here I am thousands of years later in 21^st century, living in a very different world than Jesus did. I wholeheartedly want to serve God, but I find that mammon is pretty much a requirement for living in a global economy. What am I supposed to do?

Good question. Yet there is a staggering silence from the pulpits regarding this subject.

In all the years that I have been a Christian, I have never been exposed to a framework for exploring career growth and financial security in the context of Christian spirituality. It seems like there is a huge gaping hole in the Christian sub-culture that leaves ambition, career and the pressures of the workplace out in the cold, out in the spiritual hinterlands or subject to the devil’s domain.

When I was growing up, the Evangelical church taught me that the only ambition that would truly please God was the passion for making disciples or leading others to Christ. So if you had a sincere spiritual desire to seek out God’s plan for your life, then by default your primary vocation was going to be a disciple-maker. Just like Jesus (you know, the missionary Jesus, not the working-for-the-family-business carpenter Jesus). But what if I am not “called” to that? What if my gifts, talents and personality are better suited for business pursuits?

I have always had a strong desire for spiritual growth and connectivity with God, to the point where I even considered seminary after graduating from college. I sincerely prayed about this decision and felt a definitive “no” coming from God. Maybe it was some bad soup I ate, or maybe I tapped in to some deeper instincts about myself, knowing that I was not cut out for the clergy.  Instead, through a series of bumbling decisions and circumstances and jobs, I discovered a strong interest and aptitude in business.  God has a way of eventually showing us what we are called for, even when we are clueless.

As I was freshly exploring the path of putting my unique gifts and talents to good use for economic gain instead of spiritual service, I struggled with the question of how to distinguish God’s calling for my life from my ego. Unfortunately, there weren’t any spiritually-based resources to bounce this question off of. It seemed that from the church’s point of view my career aspirations were now off-limits somehow. There wasn’t really a way to talk about my desire to prosper. These career issues were now my own private problems that my pastor or Christian books and radio weren’t going to help me with. This doesn’t make sense to me, because for most of us our careers are pretty much a consuming force of life throughout our early adulthood years. As we grow up and develop through our twenties and thirties, we want to make a difference. We want to have influence. We want to find out what we’re good at, and work at something we like. And we want to make money. Yet the church is pretty well silent on this subject. And sometimes, subtly disapproving.

Please let me take a moment to qualify, just to be crystal-clear. I’m not condoning greed and irresponsibility and stealing and making money at all costs.  Rather, I’m talking about doing it the old-fashioned way… through hard work, persistence, shrewdness, and using your God-given gifts and talents, within the guidelines and constraints of solid moral and ethical behavior. I also don’t want to confuse my ideas of ambition with the “health and wealth” teachings that I come across from time to time which promote the idea of coming into God’s financial blessings with no effort or planning or delayed gratification on our part. These ridiculous and superstitious teachings promote poverty more than anything else, because as long as people are putting the responsibility for wealth on someone or something else other than themselves (God, the lottery), they will most likely remain in the same condition as before. I’m talking about the idea of God wanting us to grow, to stretch, to go beyond our comfort zone and use all of our resources and creativity to become all that He has in store for us. By the sweat of our brow and work of our hands and sharpness of our mind, to courageously generate the confidence, character, maturity and self esteem that come from planning, persisting, overcoming obstacles, and reaching goals.

I won’t argue with the fact that greed can be a problem for some, but so can any myriad of other non-financial vices, such as envy, food, alcohol, sex, and sports, to name a few of the worst culprits. People get distracted and comforted by and obsessed with all sorts of things to replace God. Having a career and money should be thought of as just another aspect of our life and our resources that goes towards honoring God. I think it goes without saying that with money, like with adulthood, parenthood, and being a whole person, goes responsibility, good stewardship, and an obligation to operate with ethics and integrity. And that is true no matter who you are and how much money you make.

Although God’s promises for prosperity are blatantly proclaimed all throughout the Old Testament, I can’t help but notice that the New Testament takes a more sober, cautious attitude towards money and wealth. I suppose it’s because Jesus was ministering mostly to the poor, and that’s who he spent most of his time with.  Plus, the economic and social environment of Roman-occupied Palestine in 30 AD was far less robust than our global economy of today, which most likely kept the poor in their place. The “rich” at the time were generally viewed as the oppressive bad guys, which is why they get a little Jesus-spanking from time to time.

Upon reviewing the New Testament teachings on money, it seems to me that Jesus is much more concerned with who we are as spiritual beings than what we do for work or how much money we make. I think his main concern was that people not hold their riches and wealth above God, or that they not put all their trust in themselves instead of God. Ok, so he did tell the one dude to sell everything and give it to the poor in Matthew 18. That was one time, one person. He also said to cut off your right hand and throw it away if it causes you to sin, but I don’t see pastors encouraging that particular practice in the church today either. Jesus was trying to make a point. He liked the shock-value of his comments, because it got people’s attention. And back then they didn’t have TV or the internet or sports or the other manifold vices available today that Jesus could have used as examples in his lessons. Can you imagine an American Jesus of 2010? Maybe he would have busted more on sports fanatics. Sports can be far more of an obsession to some men than money.

In the real scripture, Jesus follows this incident by telling the crowd of disciples that it’s harder for a rich man to get into heaven than it is for a camel to get through the eye of a needle. The disciples are now bewildered (as usual) and they say, “All right Jesus, enough drama. Really, how do you expect anyone to get into heaven, then?” This is one time I appreciate the dumb questions that those disciples asked. I lean in a little closer, to hear the answer. Jesus tells them, “You’re right, boys. Lucky for you, with God all things are possible. I’m just telling you to be careful not to get too caught up with money.” (My interpretation, of course.) Jesus makes it very clear that the truth is, God can shrink that camel like magic, and it’ll slip right through the needle, no problem! Everyone always forgets that part of the story.

I like making money. The more I can make the better.

Why should that be shocking or distasteful? That statement does not imply that I am obsessed with money, or that I am using money for evil purposes. It certainly doesn’t mean that I am dedicating my life to serving the dreaded Mammon instead of God. But as a practical matter, having money sure does come in handy.

I am convinced, however, that such blessings do not happen by luck or chance. Nor do they come by passively awaiting for God’s hand to start waving one’s career into life. It takes years of determination, persistence, politicking and hard work. It takes ambition, my friend.

So then, is ambition a sin or a virtue?

I guess it depends on how we characterize ambition. For the record, I’m not talking about the “I’m going to kill my father so I can become King” kind of ambition, but more of a good, healthy drive to prosper.

To religious folk, “prosper” is somehow a much more acceptable choice of words to use as opposed to “succeed.” Success is unfortunately taken by some to be the antithesis of spirituality, because it is associated with selfishness, materialism, worldliness and cutthroat-ism. If it is success that you seek, then some holier-than-thou will point a finger at you and ask the age-old question, “What does success really mean?” You will then have to come up with all these non-financial definitions of success, and in the end you’ll feel guilty for just wanting to get ahead in life. But prosperity is more straightforward. It’s not so loaded. It’s even biblical! And friends, let’s talk plainly here: prospering is very much about making money.

According to Miriam Webster:

Prosperity: The condition of being successful or thriving; especially : economic well-being

The thing I like about the word prosperity is that it wraps financial well-being in with the idea of “thriving.” So, in other words, it implies that you can reach your full potential as a human being using your gifts, talents and unique experiences, and then get very well- compensated for it. That sounds really nice. Thriving is good.

And doesn’t God want us to prosper? Who can forget this favorite verse thrown in to many an inspirational book?

Jeremiah 20:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Look at some of our spiritual forefathers from the Old Testament. Abraham, for instance. Now there was a sharp guy. He kept growing his herds and his land and his staff until he got to the point where he had a whole entourage of folks that had to move with him whenever God told him to pack up and go. He was very rich. Now, dear reader, we both know that doesn’t happen by chance! It takes will and ambition. And I think God liked him pretty much.